Do Not Care Too Much What Others’ Think
Inherently, I was not able to care about what others' think. However, it does not mean that I do not care at all. In the post, I want to share the moments that I really cared what others told me and how I could handle it at the end of the day.
I was away from my temporary home for seven days' trip. I knew only two out of five people who joined the trip as well. It was a bit scary, but I took the risk. Honestly, I had no choice. Long story short, I spend a whole day with five people and spoke all day English pretty much. Everyone can speak English to some extent, but I was below average. Since I spent almost every single minute with five people, I must express my thoughts and explain things to people to be able to understand each other. So, I did so ‘many' mistakes that I did not even remember. If you make mistakes once, it is okay and no one corrects you. However, if you insist on making the same mistake repeatedly (there are two reasons for that. First, some people -not people that I spend my seven days with- do not want to correct me. Secondly, I do not pay close attention to every mistake that I make. I told you I can be so careless sometimes.) people start to make fun of you.
My family has thought me to not make fun of anyone because I believe if you make fun of something, it happens you as well. For instance, if I laugh a person who felt down, then I fall as well. It is really what I think and I am not able to make fun of people. I cannot. However, it is not the same for others. So, they have made fun of me. Since we were together all the time, it was more than I can handle. On the 4th day, I stopped talking. See, I told you it doesn't mean I do not care at all. So, I started to afraid of talking in English. I was thinking more what I am going to say than I talk. Additionally, when you worry about making mistakes, you make more. So, it was terrible days for me. However, I did not let my Spring Break to be a disaster. I started to pay attention every word I used, but I told them to stop making fun of me. So, they promised to do so. Even though I last for a day or two. It really helped me to reboots my self-esteem. Then, I forced myself to go to another trip with people who made fun of me, but at the last moment, I decided that it is not a good idea. Sometimes it was more than I could handle. I was afraid, so I decided not to. I do not regret it because I spend that time with another trip and another people who will not make fun of me. I never gave up learning or speaking, instead, I found better ways to do it. I am so glad that I went on that trip and I am also happy that I went with those people because it really helped me find ways to improve my English.
After four months that semester ended, I went to see them this weekend and do you know what they told me? They were ‘disappointment sorry surprised’ how my English improved throughout the time we haven’t seen each other. I also surprised how their English became worse because they do not have chance to talk English like they used to do.
Today is already past but tomorrow is an unknown.
